Lost

Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you
Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here,
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known.
The forest breathes. Listen. It answers,
I have made this place around you,
If you leave it you may come back again, saying Here.
No two trees are the same to Raven.
No two branches are the same to Wren.
If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,
You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows
Where you are. You must let it find you.

- David Wagoner

Have you ever felt lost, confused, overwhelmed? These are common and human responses to major upheavals or transitions in our lives - work or relationship changes, relocation, life stage passages, and the like.

David Wagoner's poem, Lost, speaks strongly to this human condition. Based originally on Native American wisdom, this poem is also a metaphorical lesson on how to handle any situation in which we feel lost.

Because I am primarily a transition coach, many of the clients I work with initially arrive in a place of chaos and confusion, having left (voluntarily or involuntarily) a familiar situation for one that is still unknown. I hear stories about being unable to focus, to get organized, to decide from among a confusing array of options. Some run around like gerbils in a wheel, expending lots of energy but not getting anywhere. Others procrastinate ("I'll think about that tomorrow.") or hide, like the proverbial ostrich with its head in the sand.

When we are in transition, it can feel as though we are lost in a great forest. The solution - the way out - cannot be perceived from where we sit. [Hence the expression, "We cannot see the forest for the trees".] Feeling lost can lead to a variety of responses: anxiety, fear, frantic and chaotic activity, overwhelm, resignation, withdrawal, sleep (metaphoric or real).

Native American sages taught their children another way to respond when they got lost: to become quiet, to listen, to connect with their surroundings, to trust that all is well, to allow the path to reveal itself in good time.

Stand still. What does that mean for a person in transition? Does it mean freeze? Become inert? Do nothing?

No. But it does mean quiet the mind and the body. Relax. Breathe deeply. Think clearly. Take the time you need to sort things out. Let go of fear, anxiety, doubt, insecurity, and other negative thoughts and emotions. Develop trust, or faith, that all will be well. Cultivate patience. Understand and respect timing and the natural order of things.

The forest knows where you are. Let it find you.

Note: A beautiful meditative setting of David Wagoner's Lost can be accessed by clicking the link below.

Trust, Patience, Timing. Three keys to handling any situation in which the outcome is not yet clear.

Trust. It helps to know, remember, and believe that "this too shall pass". If you are lost, trust that you will be found. Or better yet, trust that you will find your own way again. All transitions come to an end sooner or later. The Buddhists have a saying: Way will open. All you need is trust that this is so. Trust and patience.

Patience. What Wagoner calls stillness, we might also call patience. Patience involves calmly waiting out a stressful situation. Some situations - some transitions - are easily and quickly resolved. Others are not. It takes trust and patience - and courage too - to be emotionally still in a situation where you could easily feel lost, scared, confused, anxious, or overwhelmed.

This does not mean that you do not take productive action, if that is what is called for. But it does mean that you choose your actions thoughtfully and execute them calmly. Patience - or emotional stillness - helps you to conserve your physical, emotional, and mental energy, so that you are better equipped to meet the challenges ahead.

Timing. Trust also in the timing of events. Things happen as they will. To everything there is a season. The timing of when things happen can depend on many things: internal readiness, external events, other people's actions, and mysteries of the universe, such as coincidence, synchronisity, astrological forces, miracles, and the like. Perhaps you get stopped at a red light, and because of that you narrowly miss being in an accident. Perhaps you've been needing a piece of information, and then overhear someone talking about that very thing in line at the grocery store. Perhaps you have been longing for an intimate relationship. You might make the connection today at the laundromat or at a holiday party months or years from now. Perhaps the job you were born to do won't become available for a few months. Trust the timing and go on with your daily life.

If you trust that things will become clear in due time, if you have the patience to wait for that "due time", then you will find that Way will indeed open, that the Forest will find you. And you will also find that you have gone through a stressful and uncertain time with minimal wear-and-tear to your body, mind, and spirit.

For most of my readers, it's summertime and the livin' is easy! Summer presents us with more opportunities than usual to slow down, become still, and allow our true destinies to find us.

Finding stillness: what does this mean? It means to release tension, to relax the body, to still overactive thoughts, to quiet the mind, to eliminate distractions, to cultivate silence, to listen, to open up, to unblock and release stuck energy, to feel peaceful, harmonious, and serene.

Here are ten suggestions for achieving stillness:

1. Take a nap. Curl up or stretch out like a cat. Lie in a hammock in daytime shade or on a blanket under the stars at night.
2. Breathe! Anytime, anywhere, just sit still for a few moments and breathe deeply, with long, slow, rhythmic breaths in and out.
3. Rock. Sit in a rocking chair on your front porch (or anywhere) and watch the world go by or close your eyes and daydream.
4. Walk alone (or with a silent companion) in nature. Take a beach walk or a walk in the woods.
5. Sit quietly near running water and just listen. You could be anywhere - indoors near a small fountain, on a porch listening to falling rain, or sitting on a rock near a brook or river.
6. Float in water - in a protected location. Just float on your back, or on a mattress, or in an inner tube.
7. Go fishing alone or with a quiet buddy.
8. Meditate - any way you like. Look into HoloSync as a specialized meditation tool for quieting your mind.
9. Listen to sacred chanting.
10. Go on retreat. This could mean going off by yourself, Thoreau-style, or doing a Native American fast or vision quest, or attending a secular or spiritual silent retreat. [Try a silent Buddhist or Quaker retreat or check out Still Point Retreats led by Jerry Thomas, Derry, NH]

In a recent blog article, I talked about the challenges of tackling a big project. This speaks to both the de- cluttering project I've been writing about for over a year now and to today's topic in terms of handling chaotic and overwhelming situations. Here is an excerpt from that article:

Sometimes the goals we set for ourselves are small and very doable in the allotted time frame. Other times, the goals we set for ourselves are huge - complex and often time-urgent. These I call Mega- Goals. Usually a Mega-Goal involves a big life change. Examples: deciding what to do after graduation, selling and/or buying a home, relocating to another part of the country, beginning or ending a significant relationship, changing jobs or careers, preparing for retirement.